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7 year itch marriage quotes8/2/2023 What’s keeping you from finding excitement with your partner? We know that affairs are often about looking for something you haven’t found (or that you’ve lost) in your marriage. Well, that depends on the choices you make when those inevitable feelings of sameness creep in and zap the spark from your relationship. But once it becomes familiar and the status quo, you feel deadened. When your relationship is new and exciting, you’ll do anything to protect it. But, we also need liveliness.Įxamine your choices to keep it interesting Maybe they find it in sports, a consuming new hobby, or long nights out “with the boys.” Maybe it’s an affair. This is the period in a marriage when people stray away, looking for outside excitement. Thus the appeal of infidelity is when the spouse you securely have feels almost too secure. Notable psychotherapist Esther Perel often points out that “you can’t want what you already have.” Desire is always for something or someone you can’t … quite … reach. Not even the risk of telling his well-loved wife that he might want more out of their life together. In 1950s Hollywood, the only allowable outcome was for him to settle back into his safe marriage and not take a risk … any risk. The film is about the yearnings of a happily married man. This dilemma always reminds me of the iconic image of Marilyn Monroe on the subway grate, from the 1955 comedy, “The Seven-Year Itch.” Just because a marriage reaches a plateau, it doesn’t mean it’s over So, what do you do? Go with the flow? Numb out and pretend everything is OK? Cheat on your partner? Believe me, it happens to the best of couples. You don’t want your marriage to crash, but, as the old song says, “Is that all there is?”Īnd so you reach the relationship stage of loving your partner but no longer feeling “in love” with each other. ![]() And so, to protect the safety you call home, you sometimes hold your tongue and pretend you don’t feel how you truly feel. Each of you wishes the other were a little different, in one way or another, but you don’t want to rock the boat. You also know exactly what provokes your partner and learn not to go there. You get to know one another well enough that you finish each other’s sentences. And yet, we still seem to expect it to.īut in reality, the two of you settle down, nest, and create a family and a safe place you call home. You’ve heard it before: The honeymoon doesn’t last forever. ![]() What happens after the two of you ride off into the sunset? What does it mean to live “happily ever after?” You’ve met and married the love of your life.
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